| 1. |
There
are
no
ideal
relationships.
One
has
to
work
at
relationships
to
make
them
worthwhile.
Each
individual
is
unique
and
extraordinary
and
has
his
limitations
determined
by
his
own
set
of
circumstances.
To
be
able
to
understand
and
accept
these
limitations
helps
to
progress
towards
a
better
relationship. A
happy
relationship
vitalizes
a
person
and
adds
meaning
to
life. |
| |
| 2. |
People
do
not
change.
Personality
and
temperament
very
rarely
change.
Behavior
modes
get
modified.
Behaviour
modes
can
be
modified
with
self
understanding,
and
introspection
and
contemplation.
Sometimes
professional
help
is
required
for
change. |
| |
| 3. |
Change
in
a
person's
attitude
changes
everything.
Perception
changes
with
a
change
in
attitude.
The
way
an
object
looks
depends
on which
angle
you
look
at
it
from
-
change
your
place,
the
object
looks
different
-
likewise
change
in
attitude
alters
perception. |
| |
| 4. |
It
is
futile
to
energize
negatives
-
create
positive
fields
-
be
as
far
as
possible
with
positive
people.
Negative
people
drain
you
of
energy.
If
you
have
negative
thoughts
that
are
not
helpful
remind
yourself
of
the
utter
futility
of
these
thoughts.
These
negative
thoughts
will
distract
you,
lead
to
fantasy
and
consume
energy.
Negative
thinking
can
become
a
habit.
It
is
necessary
to
transform
these
negative
thoughts
into
positive
ones.
Negative
people
interfere
with
personal
growth
and
delay
actualisation
of
more
positive
goals. |
| |
| 5. |
Don't
live
in
the
past
or
future.
The
present
is
the
most
important.
The
past
is
gone,
the
future
yet
to
come.
The
'present'
is
a
gift
to
you.
Enjoy
it.
|
| |
| 6. |
Be
realistic.
Unrealistic
expectations
lead
to
tension,
anxiety
and
depression.
Both
men
and
women
fantasize
about
relationships,
expect
too
much,
demand
more
and
then
are
disappointed.
To
be
aware
of
the
reality
one
can
adjust
expectations
to
create
harmonious
relationships.
High
expectations
can
cause
misery
in
relationships.
|
| |
| 7. |
Sharing
without
being
judgmental.
A
relationship
means
sharing
with
each
other.
It
means
that
somebody
wants
something
from
you
and
you
want
something
from
them.
To
be
judgemental
can
hurt
or
harm
another
individual.
Each
person
is
unique,
thinks
and
feels
differently.
Mutual
understanding
enriches
relationships. |
| |
| 8. |
To
be
able
to
give
and
accept
affection
and
love.
Love
goes
down
deep
to
the
soul
level.
Love
is
an
attitude
of
the
Soul.
Love
can
be
expressed
at
the
physical
level,
at
the
mental
level
and
the
soul
level.
If
your
love
goes
to
the
soul
level
it
goes
down
very
deep
and
you
become
a
'soul
mate'
to
another. |
| |
| 9. |
Don't
have
neurotic
fixations.
Move
on,
learn
to
let
go!
If
you
try
to
hold
on
to
water
while
you
are
swimming
you
will
drown.
The
principle
of
swimming
is
to
push
water
away
and
surge
ahead.
The
same
principle
is
applicable
in
life.
Move
on
and
learn
to
let
go.
Establish
this
awareness
and
progress
towards
new
meaningful
goals. |
| |
| 10. |
Channelize
your
energies
into
positive
and
constructive
areas.
Good
and
positive
feeling
enhances
understanding.
Learn
to
deal
constructively
with
your
external
circumstances.
Relationships
improve
and
progress
when
individuals
feel
positive
towards
each
other. |
| |
| 11. |
Work
out
a
modus
operandi
to
deal
with
the
other
person's
limitations
without
causing
harm
to
yourself
and
others.
Individuals
sometime
become
very
critical
of
each
other
-
this
leads
to
conflicts
and
problems
in
relationships.
Each
personality
emerges
out
of
his
own
experiences,
is
different
and
unique.
It
is
important
to
give
each
other
mental
freedom
-
freedom
to
express
one's
thoughts.
Through
experience
we
learn
the
difference
between
desirable
and
undesirable
modes
of
behaviour.
It
is
better
to
establish
understanding
and
a
bridge
between
each
other. |
| |
| 12. |
Have
faith
in
yourself.
Affirm
your
faith
in
yourself.
In
your
relationships,
your
work,
in
the
objectives
you
have
set
for
yourself.
Such
faith
is
power.
This
arms
you
to
face
anything
-
even
the
unexpected. |
| |
| 13. |
The
3
R's
-
Retaliate,
React
and
Respond.
(One
must
learn
to
respond).
| The
3
R's
|
| Retaliate
|
-
I
slap
you,
you
slap
me |
| |
| React |
-
I
scream,
you
shout |
| |
| Respond |
-
The
appropriate
response
from
within
to
a
given
situation |
In
retaliation
and
reaction,
the
emotional
content
is
high.
The
cause
of
emotion
is
never
from
deep
within
you
because
your
emotions
are
always
a
reaction
to
things
from
without.
Something
happens
externally
and
you
become
emotional.
When
you
respond
you
get
in
touch
with
your
innerself
and
not
react
to
an
external
stimuli.
Once
you
understand
your
relationships,
you
develop
inner
strength
and
learn
to
endure
difficult
external
situations
and
respond
adequately. |
| |
| 14. |
Learn
to
listen
adequately
in
order
to
respond.
Listening
is
an
art
which
needs
to
be
cultivated.
There
are
three
kinds
of
listening:
|
Listening |
| |
 |
|
| a) |
Listen |
Listen |
Listen |
| |
|
 |
| b) |
Listen |
Listen |
Listen |
| |
|
|
|
| c) |
Listen |
Listen |
Listen |
In
(a)
you
are
listening
but
not
listening
because
of
preoccupation
with
other
thoughts.
No
listening
takes
place.
In
(b)
you
are
partially
listening
because
of
preoccupation
with
the
reply
you
need
to
give.
A
typical
situation
at
work.
In
(c)
you
are
actually
listening
and
therefore
in
a
position
to
respond
adequately.
|
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