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This is a pretty good myth from the vast resources of the Brihatrakathasarithasagara
about the dangers of generalizing from particular instances. Not all inferences
are universally valid to all people, a point particularly relevant in the context
of the prejudices that women were traditionally viewed with.
In the kingdom of Ujjain, [more mythical than real and representing an idealization
of urbanity and culture] there was a king who was prone to taking his wife for granted.
She was a lady of great spirit and not used to being subject to benign neglect that
was the usual lot of female royalty. This made for a rather interesting marital
life to say the least. The queen being more intelligent the king was decidedly getting
the worst of their little tiffs. In despair he began to consult his prime minister
before he ventured to interact with her. This, contrary to the hoary advice that
a king who follows the counsel of his minister prospers, was proving to be counter-productive
too. However the king persevered in this course of action, not least perhaps because
it was manifestly irritating his wife.
One day he returned from his hunt to learn that his wife was in the Sulking Chamber.
Ancient India was a very interesting place and it had certain unusual mechanisms
for royal women to convey their displeasure without descending to bandying words.
The cause of this withdrawal was that the king had, like husbands of all time, forgotten
her birthday. This was a major blunder and the king was about to hasten to her and
apologize when his counselor restrained him.
"She will gain a moral victory over you if you apologize over such a trifle. This
an advantage she will never shirk form driving home, sit tight and ignore it." Though
it went against his grain the king thought there must be something in it and did
as advised. The results were depressingly predictable. He did have some pricking
of conscience however and he promised her that she would receive the extremely rare
and precious blue diamond on her next birthday.
When the officious minister heard of this promise he was aghast.
"Has any man satisfied a woman's desire for jewelry? Get her in to the habit of
taking blue diamonds for granted and you are in deep trouble. An ordinary one will
do just as well."
This was palatable advice as it meant saving money though it was totally unjust
towards the queen who was not in the least avaricious. By now she was fed up with
this unending stream of good advice that was making her marriage an enduring misery.
Being a clever woman she asked the king to convey a simple message to the minister.
He was intrigued and thought it was some sort of test of his counselor's resourcefulness
and kings are always willing and eager to see their advisers fall down. So even
though he did not comprehend the question he conveyed it.
" Is the whip used on a mare to be used on a hare?"
The minister was abashed beyond measure and announced to the king that his days
of advice in domestic matters were officially over. Now the king was intrigued.
What was in that simple question which altered matters to this extent? His wife
explained it to him.
"Your minister is married to a termagant. She is constantly contradicting him, has
a vile temper, is greedy and perpetually makes extravagant demands on him, his time
and his money. The unfortunate man has got into the habit of judging all women by
his wife and basing his advice on his own miserable experiences. Because he has
to be perpetually firm and sometimes harsh to maintain the balance and even sanity
of his home, he thinks that is the only pattern of interaction in a marriage. It
is not a major issue if the diamond was white or blue but he was misrepresenting
my character to you and causing you to break your promises to me, neither of them
activities which were likely to turn out well for the future. I had no choice but
to point out that his generalizations were based on faulty premises."
The king of Ujjain was so impressed that he made his wife his chief counselor from
that day on!
- Rohit Arya
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