Do you believe that true Self-realization can only happen by relinquishing the worldly possessions and all the materialistic attachments? Did you ever feel that, as a normal person with her set of duties and responsibilities, your spiritual growth was confined or slower in any way?

You don't have to give up anything to realize the God within You! What worked in my favor in throughout this process of awakening was my Faith, I guess! I was never in doubt about the fact that whatever the Source was unfolding to/through me was beautiful and what was meant to be!

I have never held the belief that one has to do penance or go hungry to achieve awareness. I would rather complete the Vaishnodevi climb on horse ride rather than complain throughout the 18-kilometer ascent and be called courageous!

I firmly believe that there are no rules, no rights no wrongs and nothing like the good pace or the bad while one moves along the spiritual path! Perhaps the only rule is not to carry any emotional baggage with oneself while making this biggest pilgrimage of one's life!

It is seen that whenever a person goes through a supernatural, transcendental experience he is always as if in a meditative reverie. Did you experience the same? Was it difficult to juggle the roles of a mother, a homemaker and a career woman during this phase?

The exercises, the affirmations, everything as if fitted into my routine and interfered with nothing! It seems unlikely now that I went through the entire phase of growth, of balancing client meetings and meditations, of managing house and children without any inconvenience, but that's what happened!

I guess I have always been provided for in life and did not specifically worry about how mundane, routine things would be looked after, which they were! I have never really gone to meet life, it has come to me and I am quite content with that!

For me going through a supernatural, transcendental experience has been an ongoing affair and I have more or less been in a state of meditative reverie. But this state has not made me neglect any area of my life; on the contrary, each relationship is given my whole self. Whether home or office, I am just there, and the rest is taken care of. No juggling is required. What is required is 'surrender'.

I am where I am probably to round off my personality in totality. My normal life span in most of my earlier lives has been between 25-30 years of age. I have never seen any extended family members. I have not seen any parents also in earlier lives. Maybe they were required to just give me an entry into the planet and the rest I had to work at myself. I have been given a complete life this time. I begin with my parents, my siblings, my teachers, my friends, my husband, my children and finally coming face to face with my Self, my Guru, a relationship in which, I complete myself. I have been allowed to live and value each relationship with full awareness!

According to you what role does a Guru play in an individual's spiritual journey? Is it necessary to have the support and guidance of a teacher to achieve Self-realization?

I feel that one needs to be in the presence of a teacher, a guru, for the energy to be channeled and harnessed properly. For me, the presence of my Guru at the seemingly agitated moments brought the right kind of anchoring in my life. He remained silent when I needed the churning of emotions inside to find my own answers; he was encouraging when I needed his support. He provided me with the right kind of a mirror to see my emotions and myself!

I believe that the Source or God manifests for you as your Guru and he will assume the relationship which you are most comfortable. How did I know that God manifested as my Guru? Simple: Source exercised great deal of patience in Its efforts to make me aware, that the teacher, who was sitting opposite me, was the Form through whom the grace of the Source would flow for me.

How was I so sure? As my perception was best manifested through visualization, I was shown different aspects of the Guru's glory. I would see his aura in different forms and shades, I would see the wings on his head, symbolizing his functioning at higher level of Consciousness. The Source went on and on but I was not on that wavelength. The penny would not drop! I was engrossed in my own world.

Till one day, I saw over the Guru's head, a white sheet stretched. After drawing this visual I sat looking at it, and then went back over all the visuals I had done of him. I realized that there was a message here. But what? I kept thinking and thinking. Where had I seen a sheet stretched before? What came to my mind was a Gurudwara (place of worship) where there is a canopy over the Holy Book made of rich cloth. What did that symbolize, what did that mean? It was too awe inspiring: My Guru and Granth Sahib were one! I was too humbled. The canopy representing the Source Consciousness thought me a fit candidate to manifest ITSELF for me in the form of my guru. I was the recipient of special attention. Wow! I was in a daze!

Now the question was: In what relationship was I most comfortable? The Source manifested Itself as my friend: a relationship where there were no expectations, you accept the other as a whole.

In my opinion a Guru is an absolute essential, because it is only in this relationship one can work out all ones hopes, fears, desires, love, hate, and wants. All the negative emotions are worked out without being judged. As Swami Muktananda says, "The Guru's job is to clean away the dirt that has accumulated around the heart - the dirt of "I am a man," "I am a woman," "I am the giver," "I am the doer," "I am this," and "I will do that." He burns to ashes the disciple's limited individuality and makes him realize that he is nothing but the supreme Lord. He frees him from the meshes of different types of sadhna and makes him realize the Truth."

The Guru who is the embodiment of God's power, in his grace has adopted the role of a screen on which I carry out my own play of consciousness. Without his constant presence and support I would not have reached anywhere. What is required to be the recipient of the grace? It is surrender.

What, according to you, is the essence of all that you have learnt from these visions?

I have been often asked, "In what way have these experiences influenced your life? How have you grown as a person?" Till sometime back, I would say that I am more of all that I was earlier. Now looking back, I can say that I have been re-created! I am a whole new person who is still going through the process of transformation.

Through awareness I have discovered freedom. Though this awareness was there earlier also, there were confusions! These were during the times when I created preoccupied dialogues with myself related to situations seen as coming events, with the result that everything would be thrown out of gear because I had set a stage for something which I wanted to control! In the last couple of years, I have learnt to leave things alone and deal with whatever comes along, in the "NOW"!

I realize more than ever that my future is created and recreated every second through my thoughts. 'I am the master of my destiny!' This insight is very empowering and motivates me to live life in total awareness!

What advice would you give someone who is on a similar voyage?

What I want to convey through my experience to everyone is the complete simplicity, sensitivity, gentleness and care of the "Source Consciousness." The Source does not lay any rules... there are NO dos and don'ts, no rights and wrongs in Its space!

Another thing, which I have realized in these few years, is that. "There is nothing to fear!" Just as we face life in the physical realm with all its turbulence and ups and downs, the same courage works in the other dimensions as well! One just needs to be in the "Awareness!"

Don't ever forget that you are a part of the Source... Don't ever fear!... How can you fear yourself? You are all that is!

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